Trying, for not the first time, to juggle two projects and hoping that I can keep both balls in the air this time.
I have finished the first draft of STAR DOOR, but now comes the next part, smoothing the rough edges enough to make it palatable for Alpha readers. And I need the feedback, badly, as I am at that point in the process (one I am sadly starting to recognize) where I can’t tell what’s good from what’s shite. Even doing these line edit/scrubs, I sit at the computer and page after page just blurs together into this grey, formless thing and I have to look away. I don’t want to hate it, but I do. So, it’s gotta get out to fresh eyeballs and soon. Feels like it’s too soon to be looking at it, as I only finished it two weeks back. But I need it out — out of my head space and under the scrutiny of others. The sooner the better.
Meanwhile, I’ve started on the BLOOD OF WOLVES re-write.
The realization that much of the first half of that novel was an utter mess of shallow motivations and disconnected events hit me hard in July and slowed my output on STAR DOOR to a crawl. I picked myself back up again, thankfully, but with the knowledge that BLOOD wasn’t near ready for prime time. I still love the characters, the setting and most of the core conflicts, but it needs to be pulled apart and remade. October and November will be writing overtime months, with BLOOD OF WOLVES being my only concern after STAR DOOR leaves the nest.
‘Cause I can’t even think about STAR DOOR without feeling queasy. I was so sure, last year, that BLOOD OF WOLVES as it stood was salvageable, but that re-read last summer proved me wrong. I can’t judge the quality of my own work, and my confidence is pretty rocky. Which is why I want STAR DOOR out and out now, pretend it doesn’t even exist after I hit the send button to Alphas, and dive into this rewrite hoping I’ve learned something useful along the way.
Bah. This is a far moodier post than I had wanted to write, but there it is.
Now, where the hell did I leave those balls?
(Incidentally, I was tidying up the Bookshelf pages and decided on giving the previous years their own posts instead of dedicated pages. They may show up in anyone following the blog via RSS. Apologies for the spam!)