My Lie

Still sifting through all the mighty goodness that was Viable Paradise, still lifting out pieces and either enjoying them anew or finding how they click into my life in interesting ways.

Most heavily on my mind lately is the Steven Brust lecture. It was about finding your lie as a writer, the thing that will let you keep writing. Boy, howdy, did I need that lecture. I needed it ten years ago, but I will take it now. Take it and live it.

When I got home from Viable Paradise, lying in bed unable to sleep, I kept trying on different lies. Some of the ones he offered up was one writer who defiantly said, “I’m just writing stories. It’s not deep, it doesn’t matter.” When it does. But thinking that it mattered froze him. Hence the lie. Brust said that his lie was that he had to believe that writing was entirely learned. (And oh my god, if I could have run up and given the man a hug I would have, for all his lie implies. Virtual hugs, anyways.)

So what was my lie? That took some doing. Nothing seemed to fit.

Then it hit me. I spend so much time worrying about the words I haven’t yet written. I put off writing, afraid of writing, afraid of failing.

But a farmer. What does a farmer do? Does he spend all his time thinking about the fruit he might one day harvest? Or does he put a seed in the ground, whenever he has the chance? Don’t think about the fruit, plant the seed. Every day I plant a seed, I will have something to harvest later. But right now, it’s all about the seeds.

What’s a seed? Writing new words, editing words, sending out stories, doing critiques, in that order, every day. Don’t focus on the end product, on what might be. So long as I keep planting seeds, eventually I will have something I can take pride in.

This is my lie. It’s a productive lie and it focuses my efforts. The lie might change as the years move on, but since putting it on I’ve felt more at ease about writing than I have for a very long time.

VP Critique Circle

14 thoughts on “My Lie

      1. thanate7

        Did anybody critique there? my outdoor crit groups were all over by the picnic tables. I was convinced the ring of chairs was some sort of modern fairy ring going on. (ooh, that would have been a good one for the Suburban Stories…)

      2. Steph

        Did no one use that spot for critique? Ah, all my romantic hopes are dashed. That seemed such a perfect place, and the chairs weren’t there the first day. They appeared overnight and looked so inviting.

  1. Love that photo!

    Brust’s lecture about finding your lie helped me put my finger on something that had been hovering around the edges of my brain. I had a lie I needed, already, I just didn’t know that’s what it is.

    So what I’m pondering now is: what should I do to maintain that lie? How much?

    1. Steph

      Oooh, what’s your lie? πŸ™‚ (Unless it’s too personal to share, which, cool.)

      As for maintaining … I don’t know. I know even the last few days, my seeds have felt really small. The future looms in unsettling ways. But, gotta plant, gotta figure out how to chop my novel down into workable pieces, gotta keep the positive momentum from Viable Paradise alive.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s