Today the plan had been to do a few grown-up tasks in the morning and then get on to some writing. I doubled my week’s word count on Tuesday and I had high hopes that I would get another 1,000 words under my belt today.
But I didn’t.
What I did do is get my finances in order (I track my transactions in a Mac application called Moneywell) and then set about working on a resume and cover letter for a job that popped up. This took far longer than it should, both tasks, and while I tried to decide whether or not to head out to write or stay in, I ended up chatting away with a friend who lives out of town.
And then obsessing about one of my cats.
Looks like I’ll be bringing him to the vet in the next day or so. He’s not behaving normally, a sure sign that Something Is Up, and best looked at quickly. Fingers crossed, good vibes, as neither of us has the energy for something serious.
Not that any of this has anything to do with writing. But I more than doubled my goal for this week. Next week I’m shooting for 3,000 words. I feel like I’m back on track again.
These are all vague, unsatisfying sentences. Then again, I feel vague and unsatisfied. It’s like I get one part of the house in order and the other side falls apart. Where is the balance? Where is sense of control? As always, I strive for a structure that would guide me through, day-to-day, but no tools to built that structure.
See that? I’m writing and I’m still not happy.
All I can do is laugh.