I am without words. Well, without good words. I have words — tens, hundreds, even thousands — but none of them good, none of them close to right. World Con is over. It was amazing and wonderful and unforgettable. All of these things and more.
And can I be slightly hyperbolic here and say that it was also life-changing? Will you forgive me that much?
I don’t want that to be an idle, feckless comment because I don’t want to let my renewed sense of purpose slip away. There were several panels about workshops and writing groups, of which I only managed to catch a few, but the one in particular I did catch resonated deeply — the Cecil Street Irregulars panel. With current events going on at home heavily on my mind, I took many notes and thought deeply and plan (and hope) to take some of this with me back to the local writing group.
Most and best of all, I took away from all of this the absolute clarity that writing is really, truly, the only thing I’ve ever wanted to do with my life. Nothing else has ever rivaled it and nothing goes back as far in my memory as this instinctual drive.
At times I have let it wither. At times I’ve listened to the wrong-headed voices and stopped and at times I was the architect of my own anguish. But there are no excuses that are worth a damn. There are only words — my words — and only I can write them.
I am far from publishable, but there are moments when I realize I am farther along than I thought I was. I can’t let the fear of not being perfect stop me from the sweat, blood and tears of the apprenticeship of writing. Not anymore, not ever again.
And on that note, back to writing. I typed in the words I’d managed at work before World Con, laid down an additional page in the type-in and plan to keep at it for as much to today as I can.
I also want to plug the new(ish?) writing blog that I’m a part of called the Underground Writers. It’s a work in progress, so don’t mind the dust on the floor and the exposed beams above. It’s an outgrowth of what’s begun with the Sudbury Hypergraphic Society and is focused on the nitty-gritty of the work as well as offering a support system for its members. I’ll be micro-blogging there with my fellows about our progress and meetings. Expect meatier (and more meandering) posts here whilst more quick, ninja-like updates over there.