Futzing Around

So … Script Frenzy. Yeah.

I managed two more pages at work, tho’ I have yet to type them in. They cover an introduction of sorts to the idea for Candy Floss that’s gelled in my mind. But having not talked with Lesley about any of it, who knows if this is what it would be at all? And with that in mind, what happens next is a big blank. I sat there for a while at work, trying to will the next scene into being, but nothing came. I read instead.

As for Spirit Cats, it’s complicated. What has started out as ‘just for fun’ and ‘never show it to anyone’ has become a full-fledged relationship. Instead of sneaking around for a hot date after hours, now she’s left her tampons in my bathroom, wants me to introduce her to my parents and has left all these bridal magazines lying around the house. I’m skittish. I no longer know how to interact with her without making her mad.

(Trust me, I tried to figure out what the male equivalent to that would be, but my limited imagination offered none … then, again, I don’t think most men pester about commitment in the same way that it is stereotypical for women to do so. Regardless, I’m over thinking the comparison.)

In the meantime, I’ve been trying to figure out how to water my plant without killing it (too much? not enough? arg!) and spending my time reading, playing Beautiful Katamari (which should be renamed to Fiendish Katamari) and covering a few of my writing books with that clear adhesive plastic. As I Twittered – fetish. Books that I gave to the public library still sport the same plastic covering job I did when I owned them.

And trying not to nap. Forgot my pill yesterday, which means today, mental marshmallow land. I have moments of clarity, but they are few. Instead, I blunder about the house in a fog, hoping I don’t bump into anything sharp.

Like a pencil. Or a pen. Or … arg … I’m pressuring myself too much, making it too much of a big deal. Sometimes you need downtime. Sometimes you need a kick in the pants.

Sometimes you need a self-esteem infusion.

Can I get that Pepsi-flavored?


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